A Disclaimer From Forge And Gambit
by Red Witch
Summary: Next up it's Forge and Gambit's turn to complain about the new cartoon series.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men characters has run off to a tropical island and is out of this stupid cold front away from this stupid ice and stupid snow and stupid slush…I so want winter to be over. **

**Well here we are again with more Evo characters that have a problem with the new cartoon! If you haven't seen it, go do so. It's good, at least to those of us who aren't in it! **

**A Disclaimer From Forge And Gambit**

"Hello, this is Forge and my associate here is Gambit," Forge was on TV with the mutant thief. "And we'd like to present another chapter in rebuttals against a certain cartoon staring a certain clawed Canadian. A clawed Canadian that just can't stand having the spotlight off of him for even a minute!"

"If you haven't figured it out by now, there's going to be a **series** of these little infomercials setting the record straight!" Gambit snapped. "It's not hard to figure out why if you've seen any of the episodes."

"Let's start with me," Forge said. "Okay I don't know where people are getting this information but I am not, repeat, **not **the guy who invented the mutant restraining collar! Not me! Don't know exactly who, but it was **not me!** So all you angry mutants out there, stop **calling me!** I had **nothing **to do with this!"

"In the show they said Forge invented the collar to help control mutant powers," Gambit explained.

"I did **not** do that!" Forge shouted. "I know from rumors going around that there is a collar out there but that was not me! I didn't do it!"

"No, he did not," Gambit said. "He created a lot of **other inventions** that cause trouble or backfire but not this one."

"I mean you don't have to be a genius of my intellect to figure out what would happen if you made a collar that can shut down mutant powers," Forge said.

"Or **anyone else** with a higher IQ," Gambit quipped. "Third graders, home mortgage lenders, the Brotherhood…"

"Now I admit I made one or two inventions that kind of backfired," Forge admitted. "Like the one that sucked me into a parallel universe for about thirty years. Good thing that dimension kept my body in stasis so that not only didn't I age, I didn't need to eat or go to the bathroom. Because if it didn't I would have had a lot of problems!"

"And that invention did the **least **damage," Gambit said. "Then again it did keep Forge from making any more inventions during that time so it can't be all bad."

"Okay so I made a machine that let monsters loose in a school dance," Forge said. "Accidents happen! And I may have had one or two inventions that kind of backfired on me."

"Like the exploding toaster?" Gambit asked. "Pyro **loved** that one!"

"The point I am trying to make is I don't think that my character in the show gets enough respect," Forge went on. "I mean I'm the one who's keeping that place up and running and am I **thanked**? No! My machines are wrecked, I'm constantly yanked around from one project to another and I look like a total doofus! I am seriously thinking of writing a scathing e-mail about this. And I have half a mind to write all in caps to show how upset I am!"

"Gambit and The Thieves' Guild isn't exactly thrilled at how they've been portrayed either," Gambit said. "That we are a bunch of criminals who steal anything for the right price."

"You **are** a bunch of criminals who steal anything for the right price," Forge looked at him.

"Yeah but we don't work for **just **anyone!" Remy huffed. "We have a very strict clientele list and we usually do a very thorough background check before we take on new clients!"

"To see if they have enough money to pay you," Forge quipped.

"That too but there are _other _things!" Remy snapped. "We do not, and I mean do **not** work with **any** hate groups! Some of our ancestors were former slaves and bondsmen and we have a strong history of fighting groups like that! How you think the Confederacy lost so much money in the War Between the States? And since there are a few other mutants still in the Thieves' Guild I think even we would draw the line at stealing a mutant control device for profit! That would be against our best interests as well!"

"Really?" Forge gave him a look.

"Okay maybe we **would** steal something like that collar but we would never ever just **give it** to Trask and his flunkies!" Gambit bristled. "We would give them a fake collar! Flawed and full of mistakes so they even if they take it apart and study it there would be no way they would figure out how to use it!"

"And keep the original for yourself?" Forge realized. "You've done that before!"

"Well not with a mutant control collar, no!" Gambit said. "The point is, the Thieves' Guild is not stupid enough to provide weapons to anyone who can use them against any of us! Even if they are paying customers."

"When exactly have you done it before?" Forge asked. "I mean what did you guys keep for yourselves?"

"Nothing major," Gambit whistled. "An experimental laser here. A prototype for a new kind of grenade there."

"A certain Russian communications satellite that just crashed into one of our satellites?" Forge asked.

"Maybe," Gambit shrugged. "Oh come on! It's not like we thought anyone would actually launch that thing without doing a few upgrades! Not our fault it was flying around with a faulty guidance system. Well technically it didn't have a guidance system because we sort of…I think you can see where this is going."

"Yeah, we're gonna go somewhere for ten to twenty," Forge winced.

"Hey! The Russians stiffed us anyway so Gambit figures we're even!" Gambit said.

"Didn't you get kicked out of the Thieves' Guild?" Forge asked.

"Technically we in the guild don't get kicked out," Gambit said. "I prefer to think of this as a management redistricting in a new sales venue with exploration into new markets."

"In other words they told you to get out of town or else they'd blow you up?" Forge asked.

"Pretty much," Gambit shrugged. "But that's a long story. But I have been authorized by the head of the guild himself to defend the honor of the Thieves' Guild."

"You conned your old man into a lot of money to do this, didn't you?" Forge asked.

"Not conned," Gambit corrected. "Gambit is on **commission!** Roll the tape!"

"Tape?" Forge blinked.

On screen images of frustrated homeowners looking at bills. "Are you tired of being forced into the poorhouse by greedy banks and credit unions?" Gambit's voice was heard. "Are you being forced into bankruptcy because your Wall Street stockbroker took the plunge with your cash? Don't jump out that window! There's hope!"

Scenes of thieves giving relieved people money. "When all else fails, call the Thieves' Guild! We'll rob from the rich fat cats that are ruining your lives and give you the money your family deserves! For a small commission you can save your house! Put your kids through college! Put your annoying mother in law in that nursing home, but a good one so your wife won't make you sleep on the couch!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? ARE YOU RUNNING A COMMERICAL FOR THE THIEVES' GUILD SWAMP RAT?" Rogue shouted off camera.

"It's a rough economy! Times are tough!" Gambit shouted. "Even thieves have to cut back. Except of course the ones that work for the banks and credit unions."

"YOU WANNA TALK TOUGH? I'LL SHOW **YOU** TOUGH YOU…" Rogue stormed out and started chasing Gambit all over the place. "COME BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PAIN LIKE A MAN!"

"Come on Rogue! Think of it like Robin Hood!" Gambit protested.

"Well you got the **hood** part right! Come back here!" Rogue shouted.

"Uh…" Forge looked behind him. "I think this concludes Gambit's portion of the show."

"Operators are standing by!" Gambit ran to the camera. "Call 555-RIP OFF! Mention this commercial and you'll get a free Snuggie! AAAAHH!"

"COME HERE YOU!" Rogue grabbed him by the ear and dragged him off camera. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET FOR FREE?"

WHAM!

"OW!" Gambit yelled. "Come on Rogue! You know you love Gambit! NO! DON'T HIT GAMBIT **THERE!**"

POW! POW! POW!

"Mama…" Gambit was heard whimpering off camera. Then a thud as his body hit the floor.

"Lyin' cheatin' swamp rat thinks he can just strut around and scam everybody…" Rogue walked across the screen behind Forge dragging Gambit by the feet. "I swear when we get outta this building you are gonna learn how to behave even if I have to beat it into your fool head!"

"Help…" Gambit whimpered. "Not part of the act folks! Not part of the act! OW!"

"You know I used to get annoyed at not having so much screen time," Forge remarked as he listened to Gambit's howls of pain. "Now I think maybe me not being on camera as much as some of the others isn't such a **bad idea!"**


End file.
